I don't know - my catch-phrase as of late. I don't know what to do, what to feel, how to feel, why I am like this. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm confused and scattered and my heart and my head are fighting like siblings unable to come to any sort of agreement. One has to be right, but where is the mediator? Too many questions, too many thoughts, too many feelings. Too much and yet, too little. I don't know.
I don't know. What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that you can do no wrong? Do you want me to tell you I'll be okay and you don't have to worry? Do you want me to tell you it's me and not you? No. It takes two to tango and this dancer has two left feet.
Do I follow my heart and ignore the warnings of my head?
Do I follow my head and pass up probably the best opportunity that has yet to come?
And yet, again, it takes two to tango. So I am in a disastrous state of mind and I am not even thinking about the other half of this situation.
Then there is the other issue at hand to which I have no insight for. I have no control over what may or may not happen, and frankly? Ha. Frankly I just don't give a shit. Whatever is going to happen will happen, and I will play my part as best as I see fit. But...I don't know. How am I supposed to prepare for the unpredictable? What is waiting for me at the other end of the tunnel? A light? Likely not. Will things change? For the better or the worse?
I don't know. And I'm scared.
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